Surprisingly ok.

I'm doing ok about the negative. And now I'm on cycle day 1 and it's Christmas. So tomorrow I have to call the clinic and get my clomid and ovidrel prescriptions ordered and picked up so u can start taking them Tuesday!

Third times a charm? Hope so!!!

Tested

And got a no. Yep a big no!!! It sucked. I was thinking and feeling a positive. Then to see the words "not pregnant". Ugh. So I went to the store and decided to buy more tests. I only had one left. So I got the 5 pack thinking that I could test Sunday and probably a couple Monday. Welllll imagine my sadness when I used the bathroom after getting back from the store and saw pink. Ugh again? Really? Universe. Right after I got 5 tests. So now I'm thinking how annoying it is that it's Friday before Christmas and I'm getting my period 3 days early! And that Monday sometime in the middle of my class I have to call my clinic to get clomid ordered. And plan an ultrasound.

So apparently all the nausea and cramping were all symptoms I imagined. Sweet.

Don't think I haven't considered implantation bleeding. I just don't think that at day 11/12 it's a possibility. I typically spot a few days before my cycle starts soooo this is typical. And I may need to talk to the dr about it because I'm thinking it's not great that my body does that.

Ok I will not let this ruin my Christmas. I know that we'll have a baby by next Christmas and I'm excited for that.

Almost done

Well my 2 weeks is almost up. It's official on Sunday/Monday. Sunday will have been 2 weeks but Monday is the day my cycle starts over. I've felt cramps off and on this 2 weeks and have just not felt right. Not sure what that means. Now today I feel bloated. Bad. And am thinking it might be bad sign. So we'll see. I told Brenda that I wouldn't test early and I know I shouldn't. At the same time I just want to know. I'll see how I feel tomorrow morning. See if I want to test day 11/12.

IUI #2

We had our second IUI yesterday. (By second I don't mean 2 in one month, I mean our 2nd EVER). It actually went really really well.  I wasn't nervous at all, and I felt so relaxed.  It made it better that the doctor I really really like was the one who did the IUI.  I felt so relaxed. 

Last night then we went to see Tonic Sol Fa an acapella group that we LOVE.  It was such a wonderful day.  And really our whole weekend was really good.  Sunday night we saw the Messiah and it was just amazing.  I love great music!

So now I have one day down and 13 left :) and yes I'm still at peace and relaxed and ready for the baby!

Away we goooo

And another shot. It's such a strange feeling to give yourself a shot. I've given a ton of subq injections but when it's to yourself it's strange.

I've kept a positive attitude this month.

"I'm at peace and am relaxed. It's my month to conceive. We're ready!"

Monday morning you sure look fine!

We had the ultrasound today and had one good sized dominate follicle.  We could either do the IUI on Sunday or Monday, and we opted for Monday.  We've done one on a weekend before and we've had to go to another place to do it and get the spermcicle shipped there and it was a bit of a hassle.  So we decided that Monday would be the winning day.  As it turns out Monday is my half birthday and we're able to get in with the doctor that I absolutely LOVE.  So maybe this is luck on our side?!

I am feeling confident and keeping a positive attitude about it.  Most days at least once I repeat to myself "this is my month/cycle to conceive.  I am at peace and ready for this baby.  We are ready for this baby!".  I figure that it can ONLY help the situation if I am positive.  Whenever I have any doubt slip in I just repeat that in my mind.  It actually helps me relax too!


In other news Christmas and Graduation are right around the corner.  I am thrilled that my graduation is coming up, but feeling frustrated about finding a job.  At times I feel like there won't be a job for me because so many places want experience and/or a preceptor experience.  I won't have either.  I am keeping positive that some people are going to retire and open up jobs for ME.  I am trying to stay relaxed about that too, BUT on the other hand I am just trying to forget about work for now until I actually pass AND pass NCLEX-RN.

Clomid

Today was my last clomid pill. Really I haven't noticed many symptoms except feeling edgy. I've had a bit of a short fuse. I've also felt more tearful but only at sappy things, like the little kid choir at church or tv shows.

So now we wait, my eggs grow and we check them on Thursday.

Cycle day 2.

Well tomorrow is the big day. I start clomid tomorrow. Hope I don't have any bad side effects.

December here we come!

Ok so we had an anovulatory cycle.  Apparently when you're over 30 this can happen and it's nothing to get really concerned about.  I knew something was up this cycle because my temp hasn't spiked yet.  So now we're waiting until December.  And I will be starting on clomid to help boost my chances.  So days 3-7 I will take meds to try to get more follicles to grow, and then have an ultrasound on day 11.  Then we'll move forward from there. 

I am bummed, but at the same time I think it's probably for the best.  I can focus on finishing up school and then try next month. 

U/S #3 tomorrow

Ok, back again tomorrow.  I don't feel good about this cycle...and today didn't help.  The girl couldn't find my right ovary and wasn't finding any follicles at all.  How annoying.  So we don't know if I ovulated early, or if I am going to be late this month or what's happening.  So we both felt that tomorrow would be good to see the regular ultrasound tech and see what's going on.  I feel a little better knowing that I will have an answer tomorrow about my cycle.  Then if things still aren't looking good I will start on meds to help promote my ovulation. Soooo we'll see how things look tomorrow! 

Now I need to make lunch and get going to my OB clinical.  Oh joy!

OH and PS I really didn't need to drink 32 oz of water.  JERKS!!!!

32 oz

I have ultrasound number 2 today and it's at a different place because the u/s tech at my clinic is off on Mondays.  Soooo this place makes you have a full bladder for the u/s.  32 oz of water later and I feel like I am going to throw up.  YUCK.  Seriously I am SO FULL!  And the test isn't for another 30 mins which means when all is said and done I am going to burst! 

I have a feeling I ovulated yesterday so today's test may be nothing exciting.  Then I'd wait until next month.  Sigh.  Waiting.  That's the exhausting part of this whole thing.  Wait for my period to be over, wait to get an ultrasound, wait for the egg to grow, wait for the 2 weeks to see if everything starts over again. Its so exhausting.  I wish there were an easier way!

Finally

School is starting to slow down and I am finally feeling more relaxed about school work.  I am just ready to be done and I am so glad that the end is nearing! I know that I still have the NCLEX after school, but one thing at a time!

Ultrasound Scheduled

Since my cycle started yesterday I called the clinic today to schedule an ultrasound.  Yea more of those "Fun" ultrasounds.  I scheduled it for Friday November 11th and that will be cycle day 13.  Lucky 13? I guess we'll see. 

I am excited to get this ball rolling again.  I am guessing that I will have the IUI sometime that next week... Probably Wednesday.  So then I don't know if I call in sick or do it after work.  Hmmm I guess we'll see what the Doctor thinks and what she has open.  I am just glad it won't be over the weekend :)

Soon

I'm just waiting for my cycle to start. If it does this weekend I'll call cryo and the clinic to get sperm sent and schedule an ultrasound. I'm getting excited again!  And especially since I know the tubies are wide open!

Sick!

I hate being sick!  I HATE IT! But what's worse is that when I am sick Brenda feels bad.  She always gets so upset when I feel bad.  I hope that I won't have too much morning sickness...because If I am sick all the time she's going to be sad all the time!  UGH.

In other news I have been missing my grandma a lot lately.  I don't know why, it's strange how it just creeps up on you!  Then I started thinking if this cycle works my EDD will be right near her birthday.  Hmmm that's odd. But I am not going to keep thinking about it because then if it doesn't happen I will be super sad.  SO I am just going to relax and keep faith that things will happen the way they should!

Busy with life!

I have been so busy with school it was a relief I didn't need to have the worry about ultrasounds or a two week wait.  I am excited to get started on the next try though!  According to my calendar my cycle should start on or around October 29th.  Once my cycle starts I will order the sperm to ship to the clinic and then I will schedule an ultrasound.  Gosh how I miss those (ha ha). I am excited to get try number 2 on the way.  I know that again it's just a small chance, but I have heard people have good results after an HSG.  Apparently the HSG can clear out the tubes since they're forcing dye into them.  So maybe we'll be lucky and get a positive this time :)

Besides that life is just swell.  I am so ready to be done with nursing school.  It's just getting annoying at this point.  I am happy to say I am done with my med/surg rotation and am moving on to mental health (boring) and then OB.  I am actually NOT looking forward to OB.  While I am excited for my OWN OB process I am not interested in being a baby/mom nurse and I just think it's going to be.... well annoying.  OH well at least it's only 4 days!  That will go quick!  Still set for graduation on December 20th and I am THRILLED!

Ok better hit the hay, I have a cold starting to brew and I have a lot of homework to get done tomorrow, plus school stuff Monday/Tuesday.  INCLUDING a presentation.  Great, this should go well hopped up on cold medicine! LOL

HSG

After I started spotting last month, I decided to email the doctor to find out if I still needed to have the HSG (hysterosalpingogram) done this month or if we could just try again.  Well imagine my surprise when a scheduling person called to schedule my HSG.  I explained that I wondering if the doctor still wanted me to have it.  Well she put me on hold and talked to the doc.  Apparently due to the fibroids it was decided the the HSG would be good to determine if the uterine cavity looked good.  So she told me she'd let me know Thursday when my appointment was. 

Fast forward to 11:30 today (Friday) the day of my HSG.  Now a hysterosalpingogram  (or HSG) as described by Webmd  is... an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them.  So basically they introduce dye through a small tube into the uterus via the cervix.  Then they start to take x-ray pictures to determine if the dye flows into the uterus and up the fallopian tubes.  Once there it should spill into the peritoneal cavity (abdomen).  YEAH DYE IN THE BELLY!  That's a great thing because it means that my tubes are open for sure.  There's nothing in the way for the little eggie or swimmers!  So now that we know my tubes are open we just have to wait for the time that God sees fit and we'll be having a baby :)

YAHOO!!!


For those interested in the HSG I can tell you about it below.  If you don't want to know or are creeped out by the idea stop reading now.

We arrived at 11:30 and didn't go back until 11:45 ugh I hate waiting around!  well the not-so-friendly nurse/tech that brought us back explained things to me in a rush and I was glad I'd done my research and knew what to expect.  (here's an example of her rudeness: She told me to get dressed from the waist down and I asked if i could keep my socks on and she said "Umm I was getting to that!" WOW) After I got undressed and was sitting on the table I watched them set up.  By this time my doctor had arrived and it was nice to have her there since she's so sweet.  The procedure was a sterile procedure, so it was fun to see them dropping things on the sterile field and watch them glove up. Once they were ready I laid down and they basically start the same way a pap would start only after the whole speculum deal they use batadine to clean off the cervix several times then put a clamp on the cervix.  That was the only part that was uncomfortable.  It didn't hurt really, just felt really uncomfortable.  Then a small tube was inserted into the cervix and the dye was pushed in.  That part I didn't notice at all.  But then they moved the table and this big x-ray machine was over me taking pictures.  The funny part is I felt like I was in a baggage x-ray thing at the airport.  I was moving back and forth and the machine was on all sides of me.  Once they got all the pictures the radiologist said she didn't see any problems and the doctor told me the same.  She said that I'll get a call to confirm that things look good soon.

That's it.  Not bad and now I just have a paper to write :( booooo  school is for the birds!

Bad day

After thinking I was ok with the no-go this month today happened!  I had a sad day, but I think it's a normal response. I know hardly anyone has a 1 and done.

Today I sent an email to the doctor to find out if I should have the hsg test or try another iui. I feel like I don't want to spend the money for the hsg...although each time we try the iui its money too...so who knows.

This has been a difficult but exciting time and experience. And I'm so so sooooo thankful for Brenda. I'd be lost without her!

Better luck in November!

Well I started spotting last night so I decided to do a test today. And got a no. I was pretty sure all along I wasn't pregnant. And especially this past week. I had too many PMS symptoms to ignore!  But oh well I mean we did buy 6 vials so we knew this was NOT going to be a short road.
Tomorrow I'll find out if the doc still wants to do the hsg test and when to schedule that in october and then November it will be back on!  Woohoo!
Now in some cosmic joke I get to take a test on baby stuff tonight!  Thank you universe!  LOL.

10 minute wait!

:-)

What's in your fridge?  Lololol

Waiting game!

Umm Funny I found this in my drafts.  I must have tried to send something from my phone.


So many times during the day I think "let's just do it in july or august!" Buuut then I remember that I could get pregnant right away annnnd we need more time!

I'm getting excited just thinking about everything. And just how my life...our lives are going to change!  I'm so glad and thankful that I have someone like brenda to share my life with!  I don't think I could handle the stress without her love and support.
So now we wait...approx 80 days till "the event". Weeeeeee

Ultrasound #3 AND IUI!

Well, I probably should have made this into two posts, but I just didn't want to blog the other day and I was busy. 

Friday I was scheduled to go into the clinic for my third ultrasound at 10:15.  They were actually squeezing me in so even though I was to get there at 10:15 my appointment was at 10:40.  I was also apparently going to see Dr. Collins because Dr. Jeffers didn't have appointments.  We'd had a recommendation for Dr. Jefffers from a couple of friends who have a little boy.  She was who we made the very first appointment with to get our ducks in a row, but we've not seen her again.  We saw Dr. Collins after the other two ultrasounds.  Now I like them both, but there is just something about the way I connect more with Dr. Jeffers.  She's so bubbly and excited about things! Dr. Collins is really sweet too, but she's so much more reserved.  Funny enough I have a better connection to Jeffers and Brenda to Collins.  It doesn't surprise us! ANYWAY I thought I'd be meeting with Dr. Collins after the third ultrasound because I needed a morning appointment.  Back to the morning of the ultrasound.  Imagine my surprise when I heard the door unlock at home at 9:40.  Brenda (who wasn't going to take the day off) left work, telling her boss she was sick, to come to the ultrasound with me.  I was So happy and SOOOOOOOO relieved.  I knew that the follicle would be bigger and if there needed to be planning I wanted her there.  OR I wanted her there if they decided to do the IUI then.  I would have been completely bummed if she missed the first IUI we had! Sooo I was reallllly relieved that she was home and we were going in together.   We got there at 10:15 and actually I was called back by 10:25ish.  It was nice we were there early.  It looked like the follicle was bigger, but hey who knows really...those ultrasound images are just goofy.   After the U/S we went back to the waiting room and waited to be called back.  Once in the room we just chatted until the doctor (I assumed Collins) came in.  Imagine my surprise AGAIN when Dr. Jeffers walked in.  I was so happy to see her.  I'd forgotten about that positive energy she oozed and was so happy to see her.  I was, however, slightly nervous that she only had my file, and not the usual laptop that the staff carry.  But it ended up being good news because she said that the follicle was 18 which was a good size, but it meant that I'd ovulate on the weekend. She also said that the lining of my uterus looked perfect.  I think that's encouraging!  Of course things can't just happen during the week! She offered us two options.  The first was to trigger Friday night and have the IUI on Sunday morning, and the second to trigger Saturday night and have the IUI on Monday morning.  She was afraid though that if we waited until Monday we'd miss the ovulation.  We all agreed that we'd do the Sunday IUI and hope to have better timing.  So off we went from the clinic with a prescription for Ovidrel and a plan that would be told to us by the nurse once she called the weekend place.  We went to the pharmacy to drop off the script and told them we'd come back.  After some errands we stopped by to pick up the shot.  It was a prefilled syringe (sadly I thought it would have been fun to draw up the med myself!) that needed to be in the fridge.  Then I got a call that the IUI would be at 10:30 Sunday morning.  Soooo the shot would be given at 10:30pm Friday.  We didn't really do much on Friday, and since I had to work on Saturday morning I dozed.  I did however set an alarm to make sure I didn't miss the 10:30 time.  well once the time came I gave myself the shot while Brenda took pictures.  Wow.  I've given a lot of SubQ shots, but never on myself.  It didn't really hurt, it was just strange.  I am glad I don't need to do that daily! I mean even if this time doesn't work it will just be ONE shot a month! So after the shot I went to bed!

Saturday was uneventful.  I worked, but felt strange all day.  Almost like I had food stuck in my throat.  I am convinced it was just nerves.  But anyway, then we went to my sister and brother-in-law's for my niece's birthday. The party was fun, although the girls were a bit excitable.  Funny thing is as Ross (brother-in-law) was escorting the kids to bed he looked at us and said "One...One is perfect!".  We both laughed and I was thinking to myself "One's all I'm asking for right now".  :-)  Driving home on Saturday I was feeling crampy on my left side and was thinking I was ovulating.  I hoped that it wouldn't be too early.

This morning I woke up early and called into work.  Since I was scheduled but I needed to have the IUI today I had no choice.  Now...lets be realistic i wasn't too bummed to skip work. (tee hee).  (Oh on a side note my sister was teasing me about being "So sick" on Sunday). We decided we wanted to go to church and I was so glad we did.  Church always gives me such a sense of peace and a refreshing renewal.  It was a nice distraction this morning. Especially since Church was all about kids and babies. (Moses in the basket).  I did have a slight scare at 8 this morning when I got a call from the clinic.  I was supposed to call them at 8:30 to confirm that I wanted to have the IUI.  Once the sperm is defrosted it cannot be refrozen.  So at 8 when the phone rang I was a little afraid.  Basically somehow the time got mixed up and I was supposed to call at 7:30.  Now I had 8:30 written down and even confirmed it.  BUT Oh well no harm done. From church we went right to the clinic.  I had to sign some paperwork and then we waited.   Wow was the waiting room nice.  It looked like something out of a magazine. And it was BUSY.  Apparently I wasn't the only one ovulating on the weekend.  The procedure itself wasn't a big deal at all.  The nurse had me sign something else and then she said she'd be back and I just needed to get undressed from the waist down.  I did and when she came back in she had me confirm my name and the donor number and initial something else (goodness more people should go through this check list before having kids).  She said that the sample contained 25million (really? I only need one...but umm how do they count them?) Then I basically laid there while she told me what she was doing. I won't get into details (unless someone really wants to know they can ask) but when all was said and done I had to lay there for 10 mins with my feet on the table.  Oh and she said "well you can check IUI off of your bucket list".  LOL! Brenda and I just sat and chatted and laughed about how funny the whole process was.  Oh and I shivered.  BRRR that place could use a space heater in the room!  (OH also it was funny that while we were waiting for our 10 mins we heard two other timers go off).  Soooo I got up, got dressed and we went home.  I laid on the couch and ended up napping for a while and have been trying to convince Brenda that I don't feel different.  Cuz, well I don't.  Ummm yeah apparently it can take a while for the "M-M's" (mini-Michael's as in Phelps) to get to their  destination. 

That's it.  That's the story.  Now I wait.  I will know sometime in early October.  And well if it doesn't work then I am taking October off to have the HSG test done and we'll try again in November.

ultrasound #2

We went back today to see if an egg has taken over to be the primary egg. We did get good news.  One egg seems to have taken over and is about 13mm right now.  The doctor said it needs to be around 18-20 mm to trigger it.  So now I have to go back on Friday.  I am a little sad because Brenda has to stay at work and can't come with. I understand and would rather have her at the IUI than just another ultrasound. 

So at this point my IUI may need to happen over the weekend.  BLEH I guess we've got to go to another place to get it done.  Hopefully it will all work out well.  I am getting excited! 

A little bit of planning.  IF it doesn't work this month the plan is to take October off and do an HSG test to check the shape of my uterus.  They inject a dye into my cervix and view the uterus and tubes and make sure that the fibroids aren't changing the shape or structure. 

Now I'm still in a waiting pattern!!!

School.

School is quite a distraction.  Thankfully I have so much to do I'm not really even paying attention to all the thoughts in my mind about TTC.  I am however VERY tearful.  I am not really sure why, but I cry so easy lately.  Is that normal with ovulation? Strange I shouldn't even be "O'ing" yet. 

Anyway, it's probably just the change of going back to school and actually starting this TTC process. 

Oh in other news, I told my sister last night.  I wanted to do it in person, but it just didn't seem to work out right SOOOO I just sent her an email (I know, not ideal). BUT I am glad she knows and I hope to give her even BETTER news soon.

ONWARD to the pile of homework.  At least this is my LAST weekend school stuff!!!  YAHOO!!!

OH and just for kicks I am going to start doing OPK's again starting tomorrow!

Ultrasound

I had my very first ultrasound today.  I had to schedule a follicle study for around day 12.  Wellll day 12 would have been Sunday so they scheduled it for Friday just to be safe.  We also met with a different doctor.  We really liked this doctor as well which is great because we will be going back to see her on Tuesday.  The ultrasound started out just fine until the tech said "do you know you have fibroids?" I of course had no idea.  Well after the ultrasound we went back to the waiting room to wait to meet with the doctor.  I googled fibroid and found out (thanks Mayoclinic.com) that 3 out of 4 women may have fibroids and have no idea.  Then we met with the doctor and she said up to 70% of women have them, but that she's surprised that no one has mentioned it to me before since they are significant in size.  She talked about their location and she is hopeful that they won't effect my ability to conceive. 

Of course in my mind I think I am defective and a mutant. I have fibroids that are almost the size of my uterus! HOW is a baby going to fit in there?

Anyway, on to the news on my egg situation.  Apparently all the eggs are around the same size and there is no one egg stepping up to the plate.  So now we go back on Tuesday to have another ultrasound where I'm sure the tech will again ask about the fibroids....

Hopefully I will be able to have my first IUI sometime Wed-Fri next week.

I am still very hopeful and still believe that God has a plan for Brenda and I and that we will have a family sometime.  we just need to be patient and accepting of the plan God has for us.

Excited.

As a side note, I am VERY excited to start this process.  Very excited to FINALLY get the ball rolling!

CD2

I am officially on my second day of my cycle.  I have an appointment set for my very first follicle study.  I will have an ultrasound on Friday September 9th to determine how big my follicles are and if I have any eggs that are ready to pop out! After that we'll be meeting with a different doctor and creating a plan for when/if I need a trigger shot and when the IUI will happen!  It's so strange to think that everything is happening.  And yet I am trying not to get super excited.  i know it sounds strange, but I have read online that the chances of pregnancy are only like 15%? soooo that said It makes me feel like I shouldn't get too excited.

In other news I start school in one week.  ONE WEEK!  UGH and YEA all at the same time.  I am really ready to get this show on the road, but I am also nervous that I have forgotten everything over the summer!  And while everyone says I will be fine for the NCLEX I am still VERY nervous.  Funny enough I am probably more nervous for school and the NCLEX than I am for the whole IUI and pregnancy!    School will go quick though I know that December is right around the corner.  It will be great!

I'm back!

I took some time off from my blog because since I didn't have anything exciting to say and no one is reading it yet ANYWAY I decided it wasn't a big deal.

The past few weeks have been just fine.  I ovulated on schedule for August and so far I expect my schedule to start on or around the beginning few days of September.  Then that's when the fun begins.  Once my cycle starts I call the clinic and make an appointment for an ultrasound around cycle day 12ish as well as call the cryolab and send the sample to the clinic.  Then at my appointment they will do the ultrasound and determine when I may ovulate.  After that the doctor will give us a plan on when Brenda gives me the "shot" to trigger my ovulation and then I will have the IUI done. 

Again I am not getting SUPER pumped about it actually working because so many things I have read said it can take up to 3 months to work.  Also I read a lot of info on the cryobank message boards and many other people have had to wait a few months.  So I am banking on it really NOT working and then I figure I won't be too disappointed if it doesn't work right away.   Which brings me to my next topic.

Telling our family/friends:  To date we've told 3 people.  We decided a long time ago that to keep the stress of of us we wanted to wait to tell people.  That said, it's been so hard when people ask about next summer or even this winter.  Who knows where we'll be next summer.  IF (and that's a big if) it works right away I could be giving birth next summer!  Sooooo right now we're sticking with not telling people till it happens.  And maybe for a little while after. 

:-)

Today I got the cute little smile face on my pee test.  YAAAY.  This is a happy thing because it means I am ovulating.  I was nervous that something would be wrong, but apparently I'm moving along just fine.  There are times when I feel young, but then others I feel old.  I'm 32, am I past the point of having kids? OK OK OK I am JUST 32.  Still young right?

I guess we'll see in a couple months. 

I think the hardest part of this is that not very many people know what we're going through.  This is my decision though, I really want to go at this with little worry about people asking questions.  I'd rather answer the questions when I'm 12 weeks or more along...

OH and we got our glider yesterday and I put it together last night all alone!  WOW I was  so impressed with myself! AND I love it.  I'm relaxing in it all the time!

:-) It's a happy day :-)

OPK's

Ovulation Predictor kit!  I have been peeing on a stick since Sunday. Basically I wanted to check the timing of my ovulation and make sure things are going along fine. So each morning I've had the joy of quickly opening this stupid foil pack and putting this test strip into this holder alll while realllly needing to gooooo!  So far no LH surge, but tomorrow or Friday I should get the smile face.  Hope things keep going smoothly!  I'm ready to make a first try in September! 

Updates

It's been a while since I last posted, mainly because there's not much to update.  We're still tracking my cycle, and are on pace to try mid September.  About the ONLY exciting part is that we actually told someone!  We've been keeping it secret from EVERYONE for a long time.  We really...or I really wanted to reduce my stress level surrounding the potential pregnancy soooo I really didn't want to tell anyone and Brenda agreed that would be ok/good.  Welllll we finally decided that we wanted to tell someone so we told  an amazing friend of ours and her partner.  We've wanted this friend to be a Godparent since we started even talking about having kids so it was wonderful to be able to share our news with her as well as ask her if she'd be a Godparent.  Of course she said yes and we couldn't be happier!

Only about 2 months left till we start trying! EEEKKKK

Twins

MN Twins that is! 

Can I say how happy I am that they're doing so much better now!  Yee Haw... speaking of Yee Haw's, check out our new cowgirl hats :)

It would have been a fantastic night if it didn't rain.  Oh well it was still fun to be a cowgirl for the night :)

First Appointment

We had our first appointment today.  We met the doctor and both LOVED her.  She was super nice and seemed really ready to do things our way.  We're pretty much set to start things off in September.  Again I keep thinking that "its not going to happen in September" but that "it COULD happen in September". Sooooo I guess I have the next few months to pray and relax.  I will be starting prenatal vitamins now and then keep tracking my cycle and temps. I don't really see much going on with my temps, but I am still going to keep track of my cycle.

I was So very VERY nervous before the appointment, however after I felt totally ready and relaxed.  I am excited to start this journey! YEA!

11:48

It only takes 11:48 to set up an account, and purchase semen!  WOW. 

So, here we are minding our own business waiting for June 20 for our first appointment with our new MD.  We've never met her and have may questions.  We'd planned to purchase vials after our appointment because every time we looked he had 20 or more available.  Wellllll all of a sudden last night I looked and the status said "Please call" which means that there are 20 or less available.  Since Brenda and I both really liked this donor we decided to go ahead and purchase vials.  (hope this doesn't come back to bite us)  Brenda faxed in some form and I made the call.  And yes only 11 minutes and 48 seconds later the cryolab is now housing vials for us for when we're ready to start trying later this summer/fall.  

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Baby Daddy and Conversation!

Yep, we've picked a baby daddy!  We worked together to narrow down the donors to 5.  Then we both went through and eliminated 2.  Once we each had 3 picked we told each other the numbers and we ended up having 1 of the same...and that 1 was BOTH of our top pick SOOO I guess we both knew what we were looking for! 

We also have an appointment set to see the OB.  We'd initially wanted to see our GP to provide services, however when I spoke with a friend she highly recommended this OB.  The clinic is very close to our house and the hospital they work with is also very close.  It seemed like a no brainer to go to this clinic.  I had been dragging my feet calling.  It's scary to take the first step sometimes.  Well when i called I was greeted with the nicest person.  She was supportive and very very kind.  I can't even explain how her kindness and lack of judgment was evident even through the phone.  It made me realize that we'd made a good decision.

Soooo our appointment is June 20th.  Then from there we'll schedule a follicle study and then (as the woman on the phone said) The "Big Daddy Day!".  I also think there may be blood tests or at least I will be asking her about CMV status.  Apparently the donor we picked is CMV positive and if I am negative there can be issues.  I am not totally sure on that, but we'll ask.

Sure is funny all the planning and coordination that goes into this when heterosexual couples can just have an accidental pregnancy.  Sigh!

Questions...

Brenda and I have talked a lot about our family reactions.  We've really never discussed our having children with our family.  We're not totally sure how people will react, but really...a baby :) Who can resist right?!  At this point we've told only a handful of people that we want to have kids and we've not mentioned to ANYONE our timeline.  We both feel we don't want the stress of "did you get pregnant?" or "when are you going to try?" Sooooo we've decided we'll keep it secret.  We also have decided that we're not going to tell people until I am at least 12 weeks along (that's the plan for now anyway). we want to make sure we are doing OK before we tell people. 

It's funny the things you discuss when you're planning a pregnancy.  We have both decided that we WILL find out the sex of the baby.  I am pretty sure that it would drive me batty to not know soooo as soon as we can find out we'll know.  We also have decided that we'll tell others the sex if they want to know.  BUUUUT we will not tell people the name until the baby is born!

It's also funny to plan.  I mean if we do try in September the chances of me getting pregnant are pretty slim, but you never know.  I might get pregnant. I also might not get pregnant for a long time.  So it's one of those things that you need to plan to be pregnant, but expect not to be.  It's a strange thought!

So many questions, so many plans, so many 'what if's'. 

beginning!

It's really hard to imagine that we've been on this journey for almost a year already!  Summer of last year we initially started our "baby talks". Its so funny to think about how easy it is for heterosexual couples, they decide to have a kid and they just go for it.  But with us once we decided we wanted to expand our family (beyond our furry kids) we had SO many decision and logistics to discuss. 

So many questions: Who would get pregnant? How do we handle the legal options? How do we even begin to pick a "baby daddy"? And speaking of baby daddy. Where do you go for that?

After a google search for sperm banks I discovered that there is one in MN! Who knew? Anyway, we decided to start looking and wow...its like picking out a new car or new house. There are so many options so many choices.  It's interesting!   We decided that we didn't want to limit our options with donors so did not rule out non ID option donors.  We narrowed it down by brown hair and eyes (since that matches Brenda).  We also wanted someone that fit...and found one that just seemed like a great match.

I also asked a friend for suggestions on doctors and what kind of legal matters needed to be worked out. Apparently we'll need a second parent adoption.  BUT that is something we'll cross once there is a confirmed pregnancy.

So where are we right now? We've found a doctor and will be making a consult appointment soon. We've actually picked out a donor and we have a lawyer that we'll meet with. OH and we've decided that I (Melissa) will get pregnant.

Now we'll go to a consult and purchase the actual product and start the process in September!